bebi / reviews
23 things, honestly scored
S9+
A8–9
B6.5–8
C5–6.5
Dbelow 5
Total Recall

Total Recall

7.0 / 10
B tier

“The last cool movie where nothing makes sense but it's so cool you kinda forget about the logic.”

I didn't know I have been watching the cut/altered version of total recall since 2015. somehow watching the full version makes it slightly worse in my memory. suddenly people are yapping too much with too much information that feels like spoon-feeding the audience. I liked how vague the villian was when I first watched this.

by all mean though it still a very dope movie. fight scenes were great. especially that "Imma kill that bitch" joke worked really well for me still, every time. in some way it does feel like 2012 but also doesn't, I don't know how to explain but this movie is just very modern yet not. but Colin was great. it feels like watching a clueless highschooler tries drugs one day and just drives through traffic and imagines things are flying. Bryan was not that good though I think he needs to get back to being bald and making crystals.

ALSO, I WAS SO MAD WHEN MATTHIAS JUST DIED LIKE THAT. are you kidding me this whole time you built this tension up to that level and just killed it like that. shame on you, shame on your cows bros. GIVE HIM TIME TO BE A GOOD CHARACTER GODDAMNIT. it's like "to give a man depth you give him a daughter and some corny lines". NO BRO MATTHIAS SEEMS SO COOL LET HIM BE GODDAMNIT.

in conclusion, still a very shit movie but I can never hate it.

also whenever someone asks: "are humans so obsessed with themselves that anything they create must resemble them even when it makes no sense?", this movie is such a nice answer of "yes".

5 Nov 2026